Me, Myself and I

In running, I often hear or read about people defying their limits. When I think about the concept of defying my limits, I am reminded of my philosophy back in college. Back then we discussed how a person is not just a body, but also a mind and a spirit.

But what does that have to do with running?

There are some times when I am quite conscious that my being separates into different personas within me. When I run, there is the persona of “me - the runner”, and “me - the running coach”. Sometimes, there is another “me” who is a lazy runner who tells me I can’t do it. I frequently talk to myself when I run, and when I do, it’s as if the runner and the coach (and even the lazy runner) are three different people when there is only one me.

When I am in good shape and running well, these personas seem to split up and tell me different things. Sometimes, I tell myself to keep on going, or to maintain my pace until I reach the next hump on the road. And then as if in response, I either decide to follow, to compromise or to defy what I say to myself and just stop running.

This happens also when I wake up early to run. It’s like the running coach and the lazy runner take turns to tell me why I should and shouldn’t get up to run. So far, the runner in me has been listening more often to the running coach. Hence, I have been fairly consistent and faithful to my thrice a week runs.

It’s mind over matter. My whole body says no and yet I can make myself move and run if I really want to. At times like these, I can say that I am more than just my physical body.

The situation is totally different when I am sick. The personas seem to disappear. All of a sudden, I am trapped in my body, which becomes my reality. When I am sick, I am limited by what I feel. I try to separate myself and say I can, but when my body says I can’t, I really can’t. There’s no way I can get around a fever, the flu, a cold or a bad cough. It’s quite similar with an injury as well. The reality of the pain of an injury pervades and tells me I cannot run.

When I am sick or injured, mind over matter doesn’t work. At these times, I am my body.